Heechul, After Hangeng Left.. he had depressed thoughts..

May 24, 2010 at 2:56 am | Posted in Hankyung, Heechul, News/Rumors, Wonderboys | 31 Comments

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In 2008, Super Junior has achieved an unprecedented hit with ‘Sorry Sorry”  They became the record king and also sweeped various awards including Golden Disk Awards, becoming dignified overseas including Taiwan and Hong Kong.  However, the good comes with the bad.  After moments of happiness and glory pass, bad news came.  Member Hankyung requested the dissolution of his contract against SM Entertainment

The wound that Kim Heechul has received was especially big.  He lived in the same dorm as Hankyung and had a special relationship with him.  Their special relationship can be observed with his cyworld minihompy containing full of pictures that they took together.  He said, “I was in a big chaos.  It was difficult for me to laugh on TV and dance on stage.”

Afterwards, he did not go on any of the stage including year end award shows.  For 3 months, he lived in seclusion, locking his door.  His only friends were two cats.  Kim Heechul revealed, “I had some lingering emotions.  Since I did not meet any people, depression got worse.  I had lived with Hankyung, drinked together and was really close.  It was mentally difficult.”

During his difficult time, the person who supported him was oddly Eunhyuk who he did not think was close with.  There was a distance between them as Heechul who liked entertainment and Eunhyuk who’s a devout Christian were complete opposite of each other.  However, Heechul came to himself when Eunhyuk said, “hyung’s not good at singing or dancing, but we can’t survive without you hyung.”

Leeteuk and Shindong also told him encouraging words and Donghae came to his house and made dinner for him.  He thought, “I’ve been too attached to one friend when there are many friends who are trying to go the same direction, .”

He emptied his mind.  His mind became comfortable after thinking, “when we and Hankyung do well we can meet each other.”  Heechul was able to talk about difficult problems on variety shows.

“Because he’s a friend, I despise him, feel sorry, upset.  Even though I have many mixed emotions, I’ve become better now.”  Kim Heechul said, “I told Hankyung to come over when he gets married.”

Actually, other members were shocked when Hankyung left.  It was because the members did not even know about the problem.  Leeteuk knew about Hankyung leaving after reading an article.  Even though, they were shocked, on the other hand, they felt sorry.

Leeteuk said, “because we were always together, I think we forgot that he was a foreigner.  We should have talked a lot but because we were busy we didn’t get to communicate often.  It must have been difficult for him to have made that decision.  I feel sorry.”

However, after the rain, the ground gets harder.  After experiencing various incidents, actually the members became more close.  We were able to feel the members’ preciousness.  Kim Heechul said, “what I learned after experiencing this is that we have to treat each other well when they are with us.  We were able to feel the members’ preciousness.”

Leeteuk also said, “I think we are working harder to fill the empty spaces of other members.  There’s always a place for them.  They just have to come back.  We are going to work harder so that when they feel that they want to come back, they would be able to come back without any burden. “

Source:Sports Chosun
Translated by Minnie @ SUJUISM.BLOGSPOT.COM
Uploaded by Greeniebeaniebeanie (


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  1. I was moved by this article. I feel really sorry for Heechul. But what moved me more was his realization and the other members that comforted him during this time. that’s why I love SJ.

  2. tho this is heartbreaking, but I can feel their sincerity towards what had happened and working so hard right now…
    So sad for Hee Chul, he must been went through very down moments, and happy for him to stay and working hard with other members….
    SJ fighting ! I always believe in Hankyung~ T.T

  3. “I’ve been too attached to one friend when there are many friends who are trying to go the same direction.” Exactly Heechul!!! I love Hangeng, but he has his reasons to leave… let’s love the other members, let’s live the present and enjoy it with those hyungs that we love so deeply!! ❤

  4. Although this is sad, I’m glad Heechul got closer with the other members. Eunhyuk stepping up and helping him – he really is kindhearted. I think of all members, it’d have been him who would know the pain Heechul’s going through cause he’s so close to Donghae.

    I miss you Hangeng. Please visit Suju one day, even if it’s not as a member.

  5. Heechul miss hangeng, beijing fried rice.. lmao!! every1 miss their in 13!!!

  6. I’m fell sad when Hankyung oppa left Super Junior.. 😦

    Heechul oppa is very close with Hankyung oppa, so he fell very loss with Hankyung oppa..

    I miss Hankyung oppa, please come back, oppa !

  7. I cry reading this article, God always make thing happen for a reason, Hangeng leaving make him realize the friendship that he didn’t notice before. SUJUisSUJU they will always be 13 in my heart and hope someday he’ll meet up with Hangeng again in the future. Enen though we fans want Geng to come back as SuJu but if he find that leaving is the best thing for him we will support him, his happiness is what important to us as fan.

  8. I cry reading this article, God always make thing happen for a reason, Hangeng leaving make him realize the friendship that he didn’t notice before. SUJUisSUJU they will always be 13 in my heart and hope someday he’ll meet up with Hangeng again in the future. Even though we fans want Geng to come back as SuJu but if he find that leaving is the best thing for him we will support him, his happiness is what important to us as fan.

  9. ohmigosh.. i was sad while reading the top part, and then came what eunhyuk said and i LOL-ed, and as i continued reading i became sad again.. sigh.. nvm, like what heechul said, SJ is SJ.. they’re a family and will always be.. =)

  10. i was totally moved by reading this article. we cannot deny the strong companionship between heechul and hankyung, but like wat other commentors said everything happens for a reason. i believe that behind every cloud there’s always a silver lining. i’m so glad to know that heechul has bonded really well with other members n realized their preciousness. though, i really hope that the 13 of them will get back together because I PROM15E TO 13ELIEVE (:

  11. omg, i can’t believe i’m crying…no wonder I didn’t see Heechul performing with the others on stage during that time…Heechul is never my bias, but I really admire him as a person…so true to his feelings…& I really appreciate what the other members did…I’m so glad that I’m one of their fans….

  12. Touching article 🙂 is very normal when the person around, you don’t feel anything coz he/she is within ur reach (want to call him/her anytime, when busy or do not need that person you might slightly forgot abt it.) when the person left you then finally realise something.
    I was totally move by this article and how sweet was everyone went to comfort Heechul. And a super gd Leader always mention the members who are not around, and open the door for them to come back. Fighting SuJu!!!!

  13. ‘when Eunhyuk said, “hyung’s not good at singing or dancing, but we can’t survive without you hyung.”’

    Everybody who paid enough attention to hangeng will know that it’s not like that about hangeng. Hangeng is good at dancing and have great potential in singing as well as performance, which he has proved by action. what he needs is oppotunities, but he has not few chances in 2009 even thought he had tried his best. Is that a fair thing? What has he been limited to in the group? How long has he suffered and endured for the past few years? Why do the other members had not realisezed that even though they were “so close”? What does a real friend mean? to give or to get? Hanggeng has done the best with all his effort to treat others well, but others do not do the same to him. When Mr. kim, a well grown-up could act and think willfully like an idol without thinking the impact of those things to others and he could be depressed and let everybody know that and talk about those things freely and publicly, Hanggeng do not talk a word about the hardness of the unkown side of his enviroment in korea and the struggle in his heart, or even a little about the unfairness he has met. Why is he not angry and not depressed and not complain anything? If two person were really very close, one could learn the positive points from the other, why didn’t I see that?

    Hanggeng is a very good example on positive and healthy character, worthy to be learned on many points. He is a quite positive person as well as a very gentle-hearted and kind person. Do they have to go to so far as to make use of such a good person so as to get popularity and fame and the basic profit thing? The world is so complex and cool in the way of showing those things.Yes, they might have to obey. they have to suvive. Is hangeng so previous that without him they could not live well? Act like a real man but not a boy, you members of SJ and the back person behind you guys. Low and dirty things will let others despise you, you know. Young people might be brainwashed, but the older ones and the net has different voices.

    • Eunhyuk was talking about Heechul… (I haven’t read all your comment btw)… Heechul going into depression, Eunhyuk was there for Heechul ~~

    • Your comment was hard to understand for me….it seems that you are saying that Hangeng’s silence made him the better person, and that Hee’s public grief made him small.

      Suju was full of sorrow over Hangeng’s departure. No one spoke of him in a bad way. All of them (and all of the fans too) admire his good character. No one is throwing rocks here. HeeChul was especially close to Hangeng and did the best he could to understand and hold in his tears. He didn’t speak bad things about Hangeng.

      I think you maybe misunderstood….all of Suju and fans love Hangeng, and speaking about his sudden departure doesn’t mean we are being unkind to him.

      • Somebody do not have to say bad things, but they could make use of Hanggeng to get good name. Could friend be used in that way? What is the worth of real friendship? Why would’t they think about the effect of their behavior might cause harm and negative effect to the leading character of the contract terminating issue or are they willingly doing those things to misguide someone to get something? Who is under greater prssure in this whole issue? Public figure is not like common people, their behavior may have positive or negative effect to the public, which they have to have an attitude of high social responsiblity. We can accept some kinds of acts of them as a common person, but not as a public figure.

        When the SJ members say:
        1. Oh we miss Hangeng we hope he will be back. (but he wo’t. he is so mean-subtex)
        2. we are depressed after the lawsuit (it is Hangeng’s fault who lowered the spirit of the team because he left. – subtex)
        3. Hangeng did not contact us but the other two did ( Hangeng is not as kind as the others for he do not even contact his brothers -subtex, do they really know at all that Hangeng is in what kind of situation, are they so childish as to not to think twice about the issue?)

        Are they really helping Hangeng or is it a kind of strategy used by higher level of SM in order to achieve some kind of ill purpose? The SM did very well, trying to hode Hangeng off as long as possible, not letting him free, trying to slandering him in every artful way on the media and misguiding the public with low marketing ways. What is the heathy part of the whole thing? Full of conspiracy and dark things.

      • Is there anybody who had ever thought about one basic question: What has forced Hangeng to leave? If he had not suffered so much that he could not bear any more, he is the kind of person who will choose to hang on and endure. What makes him to give up the position he has fighting and giving his energy and time and youth for quite a few years, after suffering a great deal in a foreign country? If the surroundings, or the SM gave a tiny bit of hope to him of acheiving his dream, he will not choose such a difficult way to fight for his dream.

    • May, it’s not their fault here. The only one with the fault here is SM. Haven’t you stop for a second and think this article has “SM’s hand” written all over it. I believe SM is manipulating what they write, and obviously the boy have no saying in it. Before being so fast about judging someone, please think about all the possibilities.

      Do you really think they didn’t notice anything about HanGeng?? Of course they did because they lived with him. SM is showing us what they want, so fans think bad about HanGeng, that is all. It has nothing to do with the boys.

      All the boy, even if they were not close to HanGeng probably suffer the same treatment, but they live in Korean and wouldn’t it be a huge blow to their carriers if they went against SM?? HanGeng on the other hand has a very bright future in China. The boys can’t really turn anywhere else.

      HeeChul, yes he is my biased, but I support HanGeng through everything and all the decisions he makes. But if you really payed more attention to the other members of the group, specially HeeChul you would notice that he has changed so much.

      He’s is not the same HeeChul he was before. Did you ever see HeeChul really cry or show some emotions or even talk about what he was really feeling?? No, he was sarcastic, insolent, sharp…he never showed emotion in front of the camera. He never talked much about his feelings.

      Have you seen HeeChul now?? He always seems sad, depressed, he can’t even hold his tears for goodness sake!! He was able to do that very well before. Even if he was feeling like crap, he hid those feelings behind sarcasm and laughter before. It’s sad to see him like this. It’s so pitiful to see him cry like that and not being able to control his emotions now.

      “Act like a man, not a boy”

      What, so men don’t cry, men don’t show any emotion, or feel depressed or miss a person when they are gone?? That’s what they told you a man is…cold hearted?? A man, as anyone else, has the right to cry and feel depressed and show how he is feeling. But society makes it seem as a bad thing. How stupid and ignorant to think that. Men are not made of stone, they feel like every other person does.

      Do you know what keeping your emotions inside can do?? It’s not pretty. Sooner or later those emotions are going to explode in the least expected way. It will worsen depression if you don’t talk it out. Did you know that untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide?? Did you know that Korea is the country with the highest suicide rate in the world?? Why is that?? Do they teach people to act like “men” and not “boys?” Do they teach people to not show emotions, to not talk it out or seek help?? Is that it?? No, wonder they have such an alarming suicide rate.

      Have you ever lost someone really close to you, or have you ever left all you knew behind with no hope of coming back?? If so, you know how it feel and how hard it is to cope with it when it happens. Don’t judge people unless you’ve been through the same, and even then different people have different ways of coping with things.

      I’m not blaming HanGeng, but that shows how close he and Chul were and how hard of a time HeeChul is having dealing with, not only Geng’s leaving, but everything else that is happening. I mean seeing things practically “crumble” in front of your eyes is not easy.

      I seriously believe SM puts too much pressure on them. I believe KangIn deciding to join the army has SM behind them. KiBum not being there…do you seriously believe he wants to pursue his acting carrier?? That seems very fishy to me. Something must have happened there and SM put him on hiatus, because SM is not that understanding as to let one of their artists “pursue” his/her acting carrier just like that. They are not that flexible, think about it.

      I agree with you about HanGeng, he is an amazing human being, a gentleman. He has a huge heart. He knows when to keep his mouth shut, and he hasn’t talked much because he probably was told by his lawyer it wasn’t smart to do so until the lawsuit was resolved. I’m right there supporting him and following his news, and I want him to win in all this because what SM did to him was unfair. He deserves so much more than that, and I want him to become a huge star, not only in China but worldwide. I believe he has the potential for it.

      But can you imagine how many mixed emotions I feel?? Seeing one cry and depressed because of all the problem with the group lately. Seeing the other being treated bad by SM and having a lawsuit as his only way out. Being worried about one because he seems so depressed because of the other. Feeling bad for the other because I understand he can’t do nothing about it for now. Being happy for one for taking a stand and being sad for the other because I can see he has no strength. I’m kind of in the middle ground here, and it’s driving me mad you know. I understand both of them but it’s two different ends of a stick. So damn borderline, I tell you.

      Can’t we just stop arguing about who said this and who said that?? Even HanGeng said he missed the guys in one interview. At the end we, the fans, are the ones arguing in vain because we don’t know the guys personally. We don’t know how they really feel and what they are going through. We don’t know if they really keep in touch or not. I believe they do, specially Hee and Geng. There is no way those two are not keeping in touch. I mean see what HeeChul said there in the interview, “I told him that when he get married he has to come to Korea.” When did that happen if they aren’t keeping in touch??

      Be smart people, this is what SM wants. They want for fans to think HanGeng is the bad guy here, they want us to argue over something it’s not our or SJ fault, it’s all SM’s fault. They are the ones treating their artists bad not the other way around!!

      HanGeng did the right thing, lets just support him as HanGeng, as the human being because he deserves it. HeeChul is feeling like crap, lets just support him and give him all our love because he needs it right now. SJ, lets just support the guys, not only as SuJu, but as individual human beings. They are in SM’s hands and we should feel bad for them and understand them. SM is not a good company. They are controlling and manipulative. Most of the guys have nowhere to turn to if they go against SM.

      Keep your heads cool please, and don’t be to fast to blames someone if you don’t know the whole story. I think it’s fair to give the guys the benefit of the doubt for now.

      • I’m not really sure if Kangin went into the military because of SM, or if they influenced Kibum too, but I know that they don’t let go of the singers easily. Hankyung’s contract made it nearly impossible to get out of SuJu, and it didn’t include breaks, so his health was declining and he was bring overworked and that’s why he voided it. None of Super Junior had anything to do with it. I just watched the Super Show 2 in Beijing (the first show without Hankyung) and you can tell the members truly missed him. Heechul and Leeteuk were both crying so hard they couldn’t sing … it was so sad.

  14. hangeng is missing and supporting his suju bro’s even till today, just check the pics from his LA trip and when he got back to china: he’s wearing the necklace he and heechul bought together back on their china trip, and this is really way back.
    read from several blogs that his mom’s dumpling store is playing bonamam 24/7 promoting their 4th album, what more can a man do???
    he’s in a lawsuit for freaks sake, he can’t say anything to anyone who wants to listen, unlike the sujuboys, who are not in a lawsuit…
    btw, this really dissappoints me in leeteuk, since this article everybody keeps saying he’s such a good leader and some more blablabla… yeah, good leader for standing up for hangeng when he knows SM blocking all oportunities for developement for hangeng, good leader for not knowing your china brother is like almost dying cuz of his kidney, good leader for not knowing that your china brother can’t hold his food in due to his stomach problems… erhm… makes no sense right?
    but somehow, i can’t totally blame leeteuk for saying these s*it, cuz the boy is still depending on SM to make money, so what SM tells him to do, he does… very good caring bro… sacrificing your china bro to keep SM happy…
    he could take heechul as a good example how to work around SM, heechul is giving small hints that he and geng are still in touch

    after reading this article, i have a better understanding why hangeng is fighting for his future… fighting hangeng!!!

    • I agree with you totally with both of my hands raised highly up! I could not express the ideas better in Enlish.

  15. I thought about one possibility, which is Hangeng might be tacit consent and tolerant of all those blablabla… for he is such a kind person and he want SJ boys to have good future as well. He might know what kind of strategies the SM are using and the SJ members have to do as they are told to. They have to obey and no one could fight back. Or some of them are glad to or even willing to. Hangeng knows very well what is really meaningful and what is nonsense. He didn’t complain and say a word. But the other SJ boys kept boisterous or made to be boisterous. Hangeng may forgive them for they are human and have to survive and make money and they used to be collegues for quite a long time.

    It might not be easy for them but they do have walked across the end line of many people. All peole have to live in the world, but they all need basic rules. We will never compromise with them on major questions of principles. Have they ever thought about the bad effect of the rumors they have stirred up to the young and pure heart of many young people? Who will be responsible for their outlook of the world which might be twisted? Are they willing to harm the young generation just for making money? Somebody’s survival can not be built based on the great confusion of a great number of young people. Stars and their fans are alike, someone said. Good expamples have posive and healthy effect and others…

    All the people who are not insiders are actually having nothing to do with the case, or the lawsuit, or the real life of those public figures. What the public have is a heathy and upright attitude to support the healthy and positive, truthful things, and they are not easily be cheated even by a big company with smart Brain Tust.

    • i truely believe: a good person will be treated good and in hangeng’s case: his reward will be so big after the lawsuit… too bad life isn’t always fair, like hangeng said. he is the one that endures all these stuff, and when the lawsuit ends, he will be sooOOooo big and shines soooOOoo brightly… i have one funny thought: hangeng had to “be patient” for 8 months before he was able to shine on the korean TV, and now with the lawsuit, which is delayed till june again… it will also take 8 months… just to make the circle round again and karma is a b*tch folks =P

      you are so right about the star that you are fan of is a good example for the fans… if hangeng isn’t saying anything that might cause them to look bad, we will also not do that…
      he is just focusing on the projects that he is able to do due to the restrictions of the lawsuit and is doing them perfectly one by one… so happy that he can be in the picture once in a while and getting good reviews for it =) but hey, did we expect anything less from this boy?

      we will just wait for his great comeback and when that happens, suju who? SM who? hahahaha

      hang in there y’ all!!!

  16. i know hangeng oppa will come back..
    because he miss princess hee so much..

    and i really miss him too..

    • don’t be sad laa… even now with the lawsuit, even tho he can’t be fully active, hangeng knows that his fans are so happy to see him every time… seeing him getting healthier and gaining more respect and admiration, is something we should be grateful for… how many artists with such limited opportunities due to lawsuit can still make such an impact?
      and when the lawsuit is over, i think we can all see who his true friends of suju are… and hopefully heechul proves himself to be a real friend and we will be seeing them together and always in our faces oki? =)

      • JOSY, hear, hear!!

        I worry about them and their friendship :(. But I’m sure that if there is one true friendship inside the group, it is this one. There might be others, I don’t doubt it. However, this one has touched the hearts of so many fans. I want them both to be happy and healthy, physically and mentally and doing what they want…not having to obey the big boss SM.

  17. i was just reading all you guy’s comments and i just have one question…why doesnt hangeng talk about suju any more when asked…i mean he gets this uncomfortable look in his face as if suju screwed him over not sm…i am wondering if he is made at suju for some reason….is he??? and if so…why? could suju do anything against the company that is paying them?? not sure. and why hasnt the suju talked about hangeng at all…heechul is the only brat(lol-in a good way i love heenim!) who always does what he wants and doesnt give a damn about who says what…but the others are kinda just going with the flow…i mean maybe thats not really the case and they are all hurting inside but i guess…there is this huge wall behind what really happened and no one is saying a word….did hangeng contact any of the members and explain to them when he was leaving…? did they know hangeng was filing the lawsuit before hangeng left..? when did hangeng file the lawsuit…was he around suju at that time…? i have no idea what happend….i just know why he filed the lawsuit and how he is doing now…somebody please help me understand this…i am so confused!

  18. I want to see you all……………………………… LOVE YOU

  19. ur supposed to leave a comment not an essay. i just hope like leeteuk said when he is comfortable he can come back

  20. im depressed now knowing that leeteuk’s (and SUJU members’, and ELF’s) hopes of having him back have been dashed with that final court decision that has cut him off from SME forever. 😦 😦 😦

    heechul…i wonder if that’s why he left early for the military…?
    it makes me sad that this kind of thing happened to them. those two were like peanut butter and jelly.

  21. I’m really sorry about hankyung…:'( this is really sad…especially for heechul because he’s closest friend were hankyung…He locked him self in his apartment for 3 whole months!! His only friends were only two cats…He was really depressed by by the loss of hankyung…this saddens me…:( 😦 😦
    maybe this is the cause of heechul going to the military…
    He’ll get out from there 1 Oktober 2013…[?]
    Hope he’ll remember hankyung forever….

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